shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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