Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
