dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
