yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
