So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
