Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
