I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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