His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
