So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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