At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
