Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
