nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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