i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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