I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
