dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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