he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
