Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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