There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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