her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
