Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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