We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize