after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
