Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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