kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It's rum buckets o'clock
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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