There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize