So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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