don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
