NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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