I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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