how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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