Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
