You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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