at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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