I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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