Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
