I want to walk on stilts...naked
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize