i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Are my feet made of real feet?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
