so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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