normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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