hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
