Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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