Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
then he tried to convert me to islam
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
