he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
