i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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