There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We had to coat check the pizza.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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