Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
