So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Come see our sink grown plant.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize