I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
