How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
zippers are such a cool invention
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
