Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
