I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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