My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
