I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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