3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
