dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
