He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
