Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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