Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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