Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
