someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
