she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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