I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
