Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
