His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
